if you don't mind...

if you don't mind
i'll be just fine
if you'll just let me
let me take your hand in mine
if you don't mine
i'll be okay
as long as you don't
don't go astray
if you don't mind
i'll hold you here until eternity
just stand in this circle
this circle here with me
if you don't mind
i'll give you  my heart
if you promise me you weren't
you weren't lying from the start

poem from back in the day...

she screams I love you [in her whispered voice] after you as you walk away
she is so very scared they are the last words she'll ever say
she hopes with all her heart and soul you've heard her exclamation
she knows whether or not you do you'll still stay turned away
she watches the tension in you change and wonders if it because of what she had to say
she wonders if you are relieved that you are gone from her to stay
she wonders if this is you happy that she's said it because you needed it, always will
she really only can wonder for now what will come of this, all of the emotions, there will be many a day
she will wait many days to find out if you are gone away or will return to stay
she will cry many tears listening to you say the things you always meant to say
she will cry many tears hearing in her own head the things she meant to say
she will be hurt for many days and night and never be quiet again alright
she is the girl you leave behind when you turn your back, out of mind and out of sight

open up...

I wrote this just under a year ago and just found it, felt like sharing, maybe I shared it then too but I like it enough to post twice!


Open your ears and close your mouth,
close your eyes at that.
Do whatever you have to do to hear what it is I have come here to say.
You stand there awaiting your turn on bated breaths, but you're not hearing,
how could you be hearing when you're thinking so damn hard, waiting so damn impatiently.
You want to know everything,
then stop thinking about all that you wish to know and take all that it is I am here giving.
You want more, do not think about it in the moments when I am sharing all I am willing.
The more you think as I speak the shorter my sharing becomes.
Who wants to watch thinking when they need to see thoughtfulness at their words.
I want to see you responding to what I am saying not thinking of how to retort.
You come at me with a list of things you want,
but you are not openned up to my words when I share what you have begged out of me.
How can you ask more of a person,
when you very obviously take less than they give.

Open your ears and close your mouth,
close your eyes at that.
You look around me and past me and everywhere but to the depth of what I say.
You want to know more of my story, I suggest you see it,
shut your eyes and place yourself in the landscape of my life stories.
You want to know more of who I am,
close out what happens around us and take in what happens between us,
what happens to me in your presences,
what happens because of me when you are around,
what happens bwtween us when it is just us, or we are in a crowd.
You come at me with a list of things you want,
but you are not openned up to my words when I share what you have begged out of me.
How can you ask more of a person,
when you very obviously take less than they give.

Changes...

Life changes at the flip of a coin,
at the batting of an eyelash,
at the moment when the words reach the end of your tongue
or you find your lips coming into contact with a new smile.

I looked into your eyes so many times,
but now I see no longer those emotions.
I gazed upon your smile and it inspired me,
it is simply the lovely smile of a friend any more.

Moving past you is not something I shall do,
moving with you and through you,
seeing us both grow and change and develope into happiness,
that I shall lovingly do,
just not with you in the ways you may choose.

Sometimes our hearts lead us,
they take us somewhere we did not see coming,
somewhere that was not obvious to our heads.

That smile of his,
the eyes that mezmorize my thoughts,
that is in this moment where I find my bliss.

Love Like...

I want a love like Johnny and June,
hell no boo,
I want a love like me and you!
Gosh that sounds so cliche...but its so damn true.
I don't want the hurt or pain they put each other through.
I want something purer to be what we do.

I want a love like Romeo and Juliet,
hell no pet,
I don't want pain for who I've choosen you to beget.
I want the love they put in songs and lovers but on a mixed cassette.
If you want the drama of thier love affair me you should forget,
I want someone who's matching me in that aspect.

Lyrical, Prose Forced to Poetics...Beat! No, there lacks a rhythm...

Music,
a beating,
a pulsing,
a commonality.

Commonality,
a thing in both,
a foundation in both,
a string to tie together.

One day,
taken in stride,
just a breakfast,
then a mall walk,
then a trip,
A2 comith we.

One trip,
the traffic,
the snow,
the stops...
U of M,
Chipolte,
Panera,
Chipolte again,
back to the traffic,
back to the snow,
back home.

Traffic,
Snow,
Annoying!

U of M,
free money.

Chipolte,
community found.

Panera,
free food,
cheap food,
venturing back.

Chipolte,
a gift cherished.

Traffic,
Snow,
Annoying!

Home,
long enough,
only to shower.

The terror trip,
the first adventure back,
seeing the old place,
yes I went back to P707,
yes I remember our number,
I was 263 got that one too.

Soup getting achieved,
just a quick delivery,
soup delivery,
enjoy!

The thankfulness,
you're amazing,
you're the bomb,
thank you.

Your soup,
deemed worth it,
worth the terror.

Adventure off to home,
I'm staying this time!

Night well slept,
but a fear upon waking,
missing father,
he eventually checked in,
two hours later,
early morning,
not appreciated!

Now the ponderence,
a poeticesk beginning,
discussion of music,
discussion of commonality,
where did that stream go,
nowhere is the truth!

I've told much,
yet withheld just as much,
I've shared things,
words,
poetically,
lyrically,
beat fashion perhaps,
I've told nothing of substance,
what happened,
had less to do with this,
more to do with that,
yet I've given the insight of our day,
who'd've though you can give it all,
and nothing this way?!

Hang on this cliff,
the one I've left,
but don't expect me to come back,
as much as I've told I've said,
I will hold the truth of its importance,
in my depth...
fortress of secrets,
hidden where only the brave dare to go,
none come back the same,
and our secrets will be kept,
for it is only the makers,
who see what the memories have left.

(musicallities posted seperately)

...hold tight...

yes i do…
i want you to hold me,
is it wrong to want you to?
you asked me if i did the other night,
i responded with a sidelong look.
maybe you didn’t understand what it meant,
my look meant dear god please do.
i don’t think you got that.
guess if there is a next time you ask,
my answer will have to be please do.
just be more forward about wants/needs…
then you’ll be less shy or nervous,
then you’ll wrap your arm around me,
then you’ll feel comfortable hugging me,
then maybe you’ll more than hug me,
then you’ll sit closer during our movies,
then you wont bite your nails,
then you’ll get its not a mistake,
you’ll understand I’m touching you purposefully.
i hope you ask me again,
i really truly do.

by the light of a neon moon

You approach and whisper sweet nothings in her ear
and all she hears is your gentle breath as she clings to every word
all she feels is your lips gently, swiftly moving,
her heart beating slower and faster all at the same time
and then, then she realizes that this feeling
this feeling she would love to feel again and again.
That tingle traveling down her spine,
paralyzing yet invigorating
without a doubt everything her dreams ever had in store
everything she ever dreamed for and more.
In these moments is when she comes to realize
she wants every little bit you have to give
and knows its her's to have if only she were to ask
your ability to do this she adores
as she's told you time and again.

bitter-sweet...

She falls asleep,
to the bitter-sweet,
rhythmic melodies,
inside her head,
of hopes and dreams.
Yet she fears,
because she fell inlove with you,
but she is unsure,
"did you ever fall inlove with me?"
Though you said it and still do,
she still wonders,
tries not to regret,
and disbelieves,
the simple things,
she hopes you meant,
and still mean.
The things you said,
echoing,
inside her head,
as she dreams,
in disbelief.

She falls asleep,
into a slumber so sweet,
in disbelieve,
of the sweet things,
you said,
still echoing,
inside her head,
breaking her heart,
and,
soon she'll have to be,
making up her mind,
in you does she see,
what she needed to find?

into the soul

Why I began to fall is not clear,
but I long to find myself in the depths of your soul,
by looking deep into your eyes,
find a crack in the corners of your smile...
to sneak in through.

If only I could learn everything by watching you sleep,
in those tiny moments inbetween,
inbetween everything,
everything you say and do,
everything everyone sees of you,
Your gestures give it all way,
yet they still keep your secrets...
some how persuading me,
to leave my line of questioning.

Everyone notices something,
but I notice everything...
you stand differently,
you walk differently,
you speak differently,
but only with me.

Others listen to your words passively,
I lust after them and long to hear all that you think.

Some how I only need from you is nothing and everything,
at the same time.
I want everything you are and can be,
I want nothing you are not or cannot be...
All I want is you and some how that is more than enough for me.

global emoticon

and there I am momentarily gone again
lost in the light hiding for me in your eyes
the sweet subtlety in your touch
feel my heart rush
lost in sweet elegance of your voice
what you say matters not
but I push myself to stay listening
to be here on the surface with you
I fight against my own will
I want to be lost in you
irrational over you
feel as never before because of you
you used to let me
welcome me into the nothing that for me was everything
I'm lost as how to proceed from here
do I find faults to run fast quickl
do I drop roots give all of me into this thing
I'm desperately trying to figure out where's the me
should I want any of anything you offer to me
is it wrong to want so whole heartedly
what you've never dreamed was your's to have half heartedly
I dream but how can this be
life beyond the fantasy
what do I owe thee
what do you expect of me
how is it that I cannot wake of this dream
oh please if there is but a higher being
let this fall at my feet shattered glass
the looking glass of my dreams
or make it not fragile enough to ever be such a thing
I feel myself drawn so wholly into it
will sooner now surrender everything
everything I cannot stand to lose
so this must be broken now
or eternal
no room for the in-between
so now I wonder
goddess
angel
what do you think
can you give this to me
you promised never to hurt me
so don't
give me my longed for eternity
please beautiful girl
learn nothing but to love me
do nothing but love me
be you the woman who will always love me
or be gone as harsh as it may be

...emotions...

I am fragile,
dare not touch me,
fear me and the damage,
you alone are capable of.

I am fragile,
dare not touch me,
I will likely crumple,
I but a frailty in your hands.

I am fragile,
dare not touch me,
I like dried out flowers,
disintegrating at your touch.

I am fragile,
dare not touch me,
my heart is shattered,
damage you have already done.

tears

cry those tears beautiful
cry them ever so queitly
cry them into your pillow
cry them for yourself
cry them for others who wont
cry it out there is no other way
cry it out maybe it will pass
cry, cry, cry...
cry without anyone knowing
cry to the silence of your room

do whatever you have to,
just get rid of it!

whatever you do,
crying
is
THE
only
outlet
you
are
allowed!

Mourning

There is a place where mourning begins.
There is also a place where mourning ends.
I await that place where it ends.
A place where we all live out second life,
which never ends.
A life where we all have enough time,
with all those we wish to have time with.
Where we don't fight over things,
any more serious than who loves who most,
in the silliest of tones.
A place where love is never wrong,
and we are free to love as we wish to love.
A place where light always wins,
hope always endures,
and love is alive,
everywhere.

openess...

Open your ears and close your mouth,
close your eyes at that.
Do whatever you have to do to hear what it is I have come here to say.
You stand there awaiting your turn on bated breaths, but you're not hearing,
how could you be hearing when you're thinking so damn hard, waiting so damn impatiently.
You want to know everything,
then stop thinking about all that you wish to know and take all that it is I am here giving.
You want more, do not think about it in the moments when I am sharing all I am willing.
The more you think as I speak the shorter my sharing becomes.
Who wants to watch thinking when they need to see thoughtfulness at their words.
I want to see you responding to what I am saying not thinking of how to retort.
You come at me with a list of things you want,
but you are not openned up to my words when I share what you have begged out of me.
How can you ask more of a person,
when you very obviously take less than they give.

Open your ears and close your mouth,
close your eyes at that.
You look around me and past me and everywhere but to the depth of what I say.
You want to know more of my story, I suggest you see it,
shut your eyes and place yourself in the landscape of my life stories.
You want to know more of who I am,
close out what happens around us and take in what happens between us,
what happens to me in your presences,
what happens because of me when you are around,
what happens bwtween us when it is just us, or we are in a crowd.
You come at me with a list of things you want,
but you are not openned up to my words when I share what you have begged out of me.
How can you ask more of a person,
when you very obviously take less than they give.

Poems...

sad eyes look upon sad eyes,

an open heart plays closed in both people,

they know it, but don't like it, they're one in the same,

two hearts, thump the same beating, pacing, thump cycle,

it makes sense, how couldn't it?

they're realistically cut from the same cloth,

at least parts, many parts of them, at least half,

two cloths intertwined to make the child come to life,

the cloth of two combined and one heart beats,

perfectly yet imperfectly in-sync, yet just slightly out of sync,

two the parents, a third the child,

no one questions how of why they would be so much the same.

If ever...

If ever I'd hope that love would be enough

it would surely be now as I sit here in this wedding gown

tears falling down.

If ever I'd hope that faith would be enough

it would surely be now as I sit broken in this church pew

with you.

If ever I'd hope that wisdom would be enough

it would surely be now as I recognize all that I know

hopeful it will show.

If ever I'd hope that this life would be enough

it would surely be now as I cherish what is true

before I am without you.

If ever I'd hope that enough would be enough

it would surely be now when life has fill-ith my cup to the brim

and I fear I cannot swim.

Putting the Past Out There

I gave more than I had to give,
and you gave less than I need to live,
you took more than you knew you did,
but getting it back will cost more than I have to bid.

--------------------------------------------------------------

I hear

Bitter sweet rhythmic melodies

Promises made

Hearts left untamed!

---------------------------------------------------------------

I wander off to find that place in your mind;

Where love has never been lost,

Where hurt has never been the cost.

I wander off to find that place in your soul;

Where there is a rip you’ll let me mend,

Let me care for it, for you until the end.

I wander off to find that place in your heart;

Where you hide all that you hold dear,

I only wish to see your treasure have no fear.

We wander off to find that place in this world;

Where you and I can learn to trust,

Baby this is something we must.

------------------------------------------------------------------

I'm flirting with danger and crushing on fantasies, but I want to fall in-love with reality.