sometimes the words I use to express my journey need some decoding, while this blog likely wont decode me completely...I intend to have it scratch the surface atleast. there are simply points in my life I find hard to say, something about loving, trusting, depending on and/or relying on people makes me an eirie kind of weak in the knees and sick in the pit of my stomach.
welcome to the rantings of a jaded soul far too early in life.

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

global emoticon

and there I am momentarily gone again
lost in the light hiding for me in your eyes
the sweet subtlety in your touch
feel my heart rush
lost in sweet elegance of your voice
what you say matters not
but I push myself to stay listening
to be here on the surface with you
I fight against my own will
I want to be lost in you
irrational over you
feel as never before because of you
you used to let me
welcome me into the nothing that for me was everything
I'm lost as how to proceed from here
do I find faults to run fast quickl
do I drop roots give all of me into this thing
I'm desperately trying to figure out where's the me
should I want any of anything you offer to me
is it wrong to want so whole heartedly
what you've never dreamed was your's to have half heartedly
I dream but how can this be
life beyond the fantasy
what do I owe thee
what do you expect of me
how is it that I cannot wake of this dream
oh please if there is but a higher being
let this fall at my feet shattered glass
the looking glass of my dreams
or make it not fragile enough to ever be such a thing
I feel myself drawn so wholly into it
will sooner now surrender everything
everything I cannot stand to lose
so this must be broken now
or eternal
no room for the in-between
so now I wonder
goddess
angel
what do you think
can you give this to me
you promised never to hurt me
so don't
give me my longed for eternity
please beautiful girl
learn nothing but to love me
do nothing but love me
be you the woman who will always love me
or be gone as harsh as it may be

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