butch grammar

I wrote this to submit to Butch 360 but missed the deadline, however wanted to still post so here it goes....

What pronouns/nouns/adjectives do you prefer others to use when talking to or about you? In comparison, are there any that you just can’t stand?

I have for awhile now not liked the use of pronouns at all, since they all connect to a specific gender/sex and I don't really care for that or fully identify with either. I've noticed I'm often less offended by male pronouns, but still resent the assumptions they imply. When any pronouns are used I tend to stick to non-gendered like they/their. While I've been ridiculed about the plural sounding choice, I still prefer them.

Being called someone's girlfriend is also something that pushes a few strange buttons in me, it feels alienating. I tend to stick to more neutral terms like partner or significant other, though boifriend is a fun play on normative relationship titles.

I also find that the person who uses the pronouns/nouns effects how I feel about their use. When it comes to my family for the most part I just smile and nod along with their use of extremely feminine verbage in reference to me, they saw me through the daddy's little girl, pretty princess, ballerina days. But when it comes to friends I have a bigger issue, especially those who declare themselves with in the LGBTQA community. When it comes to professional settings I tend to again smile and nod and put up with choices, though I am working on becoming more comfortable with coming out as not so comfortable with the feminine labels.

One of the biggest things that I am working on as far as words used in the discussion of me is the use of my legal name, its been about five years now that I have introduced myself in social settings by a name other than my given name(bare) and while I know some of my friends have been using that name others have not. I understand that there are people who have used my legal name in reference to me since we met, their making an attempt to not use it would be very much so appreciated and I'm having issues convincing some people to respect that request. I have very recently come up with a new nickname(JC), one that feels appropriate for me to use in both professional and social settings and have hopes that this name will find itself sticking better than the previous. I find this nickname as gender neutral as I seek to have in a name I am regularly regarded by and not quite as much of an eyebrow raiser.

super heros

Topic: Who is/was your favorite superhero? Why? (Bonus points if you owned the Underoos)

I was never really encouraged in my butcher ways as a child, ballet was much more acceptable in my home. This being said I never really got into the whole super heros following as a child with comics or cartoons. I still haven’t really gotten around to much of it but based on the super hero knowledge I have acquired later in life I’d say its a tie between Spiderman and Batman. I really like Spidy’s story and the movies. However Batman has a pretty awesome story himself, and well maybe some of the movies are a little as a friend once put it out right DUMB! that’s the directors not the hero.
All of that being said, I tend to lean towards Batman more, for the silliest of reasons but its my own and I own it. One of my ex fiancee’s best friends gave me the nickname of Batman. This happened when he saw a picture of me on her phone and thought that I was her boyfriend because of the butchness of my appearance in it. She then showed him a picture of me much more femininely dress and he then decided I looked so differently between the two that I must have an alterego like a super hero. This was the day when butch me became Batman and femme me became Bruce Wayne.
As for owning the underoos, I’ll do you one better, I’ve got a full get up (boxers,t-shirt, and hat)…that I may wear on occasion to “strut my stuff” lol.

accesorizing lol

Topic: What one accessory or piece of clothing makes you feel the most butch?

I would have to say my hats are what make me feel most butch as far as a physical item goes. I feel a sense of always being able to hide what usually is the most dictated by someone else and giving away of my femininity. I am regularly asked for various reasons to grow my hair out and my ball caps and other hats are sort of my security blanket into this strange world of female identity fully visual.

favorite season

Topic: What is your favorite season? Is there one in particular that speaks to your butch identity?

My favorite season would definitely have to be Fall. The weather allows me to break out some of my favorite clothes, many of them being my more gender blending of items. The cooler weather really lends itself to these items very nicely. A big one is that Fall binding is way easier; my binding never seems to be overwhelming or sweaty to be in, its cool enough that the wearing of it makes me feel nicely warm, keeping my body heat to myself. In contrast the summer is a very unappealing time for me with binding as I get sweaty and clammy and tend to experience a good deal of breathing issues.

As for these clothing items I so love, its never too warm for a nice button down, or a sweater vest. I have a Henley that is probably one of my favorite clothing items, it makes me feel soo at home with myself and my appearance. The use of baggier clothing that hide certain more feminine features is highly possible in the fall. Along with baggier clothing its easier to layer in things that add a more masculine feel than the summer necessity to wear as little as possible whenever possible. I feel a lot of my personality expression in clothing is centered around a nice pair of jeans or fun pair of shorts (I’m especially fond of plaids), a quirky t-shirt and just right fitting hoodie, all of which feel just a little bit more me when I can use my binding, or the items themselves, to hide some things mother nature felt more necessary than I. I also find that the shoe wear for fall is much more blending for me as well, the use of closed toe seems to make me feel more masculine at least. Finally the weather being cooler is much more appealing for hats, an item I have previously blogged about being something that feels like a security blanket for me, I bring out more hats and wear them more frequently in the fall which makes me a very happy boi.

I’ve already mentioned the major reason why Summer is absolutely off the list. As for winter and spring, I’d say spring is probably a tie for this, but something about fall makes me feel more warm and fuzzy so it got the bid. Winter however has a very clear rule out like summer. Winter for me is a time of over bundling and really dressing far more for necessity than style/fashion/anything else. I like the fashionably warm looks I can pull off in Fall. I also find that no matter how hard I wish for it, my body does not conform to the traditional cuts of a male body, this being said many winter jackets and other masculinely defined winter items fit me in the “boyfriend’s jeans” kinda way…I don’t want them to look like I stole them from a boy, I want to look like I’m the boi who’s closet they are from.