Stitch a chara,

I love you, to the ends of the world and back. You are amazing and beautiful and I am beyond grateful to have you in my life. I don't know how to talk to you about what's going on with me right now but I wish withe very fiber of my being that I could. I just don't know how to talk to you about the fact that I don't trust anyone, especially not myself. I love you and you love me. We both promised we knew what we were saying when we said it, that we truly meant it, so I do not in my rational mind doubt you in the least bit, even in my irrational mind it is not you that I question or doubt. I question myself I wonder if I even know what it is, do I know how to love well enough to deserve what you are giving me in loving me. I feel horrible that I fairly regularly asks you to reaffirm it, but I am beyond happy that you do, and without ever a word of unhappiness for the asking. You assure me that you are serious about loving me without my asking, you laugh along and assure me in my awkward fishing jokes, and whenever we talk about my issues you remind me that you still do; its something I certainly need, I am afraid to lose someone else I love for being too whatever it is I am. The last time I planned a future with someone I was unimaginably hurt and while you are different, this is so familiar that its hard not to think about it. I have to bring myself to see all that sets you apart from that situation, from every situations that's gotten me hurt and then I'll be able to avoid feeling afraid of you, of planning a life with you, and of loving you. You are not like she or any of them ever was. The most important thing is that you when I am with you or not are always on my mind, not in a creepy way but in a if there were to be one person I'd like to share this with kinda way. You are there because you're not interested in loving me with stipulations, with requirements of all of my time and energy and to the extent that I no longer exist when you're done with me. I see this and everyone important to me see this too. The last time I planned to plan out a life with someone I had a crowd of people telling me to be careful, make the decisions that were right for me, if she loves you she'll wait for it to be right for you. This time around everyone can only say they want to meet you, they're excited for me, they think you must be great because I care about you so much and that everything about me now seems happier, healthier. I love you for who you are and who I am with you, I love you for helping me to be someone I love. You found me in a rough patch and without meaning to you're helping me out of it, and when you mean to it helps too. If you can stand to live through this pit I'm in with me I am certain that we will find a place that we will find to be more beautiful that any we have ever known. You care to work and try and commit to this which is beyond amazing to me, I've never felt that entirely encompassed in love. You want to be there for me and comfort me even when you have no idea what to say you're still determined to say something. You say the wrong thing and it doesn't hurt or make me cry or anything because i disagree but because it is only wrong because you are the first person who gets it so well that you do not know how to sooth it away, you want to face it down and talk the details and the realities. I love you for this but I don't know how to deal with this because no one ever gets it enough to force me to deal with it. You when put on the spot answer everything the way they never could, the way I needed someone to, the way that makes me feel bad for having tested you because it feels so natural for you to answer the way you do, to react the way you do, that I never should have questioned it. You are the exact person I need right now, and I hope like hell that you'll be the exact person I need always. I hope you feel the same way and always will too. Be it fate, or destiny, or okcupid that is to blame for us finding each other I am happy that we both chose to move back to Michigan and that you out of nowhere decided to say hi to me again.