butch grammar

I wrote this to submit to Butch 360 but missed the deadline, however wanted to still post so here it goes....

What pronouns/nouns/adjectives do you prefer others to use when talking to or about you? In comparison, are there any that you just can’t stand?

I have for awhile now not liked the use of pronouns at all, since they all connect to a specific gender/sex and I don't really care for that or fully identify with either. I've noticed I'm often less offended by male pronouns, but still resent the assumptions they imply. When any pronouns are used I tend to stick to non-gendered like they/their. While I've been ridiculed about the plural sounding choice, I still prefer them.

Being called someone's girlfriend is also something that pushes a few strange buttons in me, it feels alienating. I tend to stick to more neutral terms like partner or significant other, though boifriend is a fun play on normative relationship titles.

I also find that the person who uses the pronouns/nouns effects how I feel about their use. When it comes to my family for the most part I just smile and nod along with their use of extremely feminine verbage in reference to me, they saw me through the daddy's little girl, pretty princess, ballerina days. But when it comes to friends I have a bigger issue, especially those who declare themselves with in the LGBTQA community. When it comes to professional settings I tend to again smile and nod and put up with choices, though I am working on becoming more comfortable with coming out as not so comfortable with the feminine labels.

One of the biggest things that I am working on as far as words used in the discussion of me is the use of my legal name, its been about five years now that I have introduced myself in social settings by a name other than my given name(bare) and while I know some of my friends have been using that name others have not. I understand that there are people who have used my legal name in reference to me since we met, their making an attempt to not use it would be very much so appreciated and I'm having issues convincing some people to respect that request. I have very recently come up with a new nickname(JC), one that feels appropriate for me to use in both professional and social settings and have hopes that this name will find itself sticking better than the previous. I find this nickname as gender neutral as I seek to have in a name I am regularly regarded by and not quite as much of an eyebrow raiser.