Twenty-Five List

Roughly two years ago there was this trend on facebook to put up a list of twenty-five I guess you could call them facts or confessions.


These are those I wrote then...I think they're pretty much the same these days, I read through and made minor adjustments...seems I'm not changing very quickly.


#1
When I filled this in I couldn't decided on what should be most or least important I just filled the spaces in completely out of order. I couldn't figure out what to do with number one; no matter what, whatever I put here, it gives off an impression of me, so I decided to tell you how I filled it in. This says something about me, this says something really big...I just hope no one understands it because its a trait I'm not entirely proud of myself for...yet.


#2
For a very long time I had absolutely zero nicknames and I hated it, and then now I look at it and realize I have a lot of them, they just kinda happened and as much as some of them are only one person I love it. They make me feel like I have accomplished something, they make me feel kinda important, I dunno I like it though.


#3
I never give up on people, they may fall out of my life and we don't talk for a very long time but somewhere deep down I will always care for you if I have ever cared for you. I am always just on the other end of a post card, note, letter, phone call, shit stop by and visit I don't care, I am always there. I have one hundred and seventy-seven numbers in my phone and I use on average probably ten of them in any given month. I keep any mode of communication I have/had with a person just in case they need me, trust me there have been people who've suddenly popped back in...and been surprised that I hadn't deleted them from my life.


#4
I love my family to death but I am not very close to any of them any more, I've lived so far from half of them that things kinda just never formed to amazingly there and I'd love to make it happen, I really am debating on moving to be near them after everything is over just to be able to be close to them because I feel like they're the more closely knit, family typed side of my family. I have lived near the other side of the family all of my life and I feel like they've come to a point where almost everyone has become completely involved in their own lives and its just pointless to drag them out of it, they still get together for the holidays specifically but it just doesn't feel like enough.

#5
I am in a sorority and for as much shit as I get for it I still love it, and the girls. Almost everyone I know thinks its hilarious that I would do something like that to myself and can't believe it, I don't know if they ever will some of them. As much shit as I get and get put through to be a part of this, I feel like these ladies are a big part of my life and I'm grateful for them, even the ones that drive me up the wall every chance they get. They are my family and always will be, its taken me a very long time to realize what they mean and be able to say it out loud but they're very important and very much so family to me.


#6
I have dated more guys than girls and this fact often shocks people.


#7
Since I have come out, I have slowly but surely become more and more butch in appearance and attitude. Each time I come out to a new person, I think the person I am tends to comes out just a little bit more. (I now realize that this is oh so true, the only thing is that I have also  realized that I can be whomever I want to be. I am now coming to terms with being whomever I want to be and I love it! I am pretty much so fully out and learning with it to be fully me in every way that I have dropped to stop just fitting into what others expect of me and picked up whatever I want to to be me.)


#8
I am a blonde and I feel like I break the stereotypes. I don't tend to have any more "blonde moments" than anyone with not a single blonde hair in their head. I say or do silly and totally off the wall, make no sense things sometimes...but its not because of my hair color, I blame my friends for rubbing off lol, that and I figure with how perfectly logical, mother hen I am 90% of the time, at least, I need to have some pretty big totally off moments to reconcile that I am no where near the age to be doing that for everyone. I'm still a kid for the most part and well the silly stuff balances it out so I seem to maybe act my age every once in a while.


#9
I have always had a house to go to but for a very long time I have not really considered anywhere home. I've been trying to make somewhere home so I tend to say I am going home whenever I am going to anywhere I will be staying for awhile, both of my parents houses and school have gotten this title in the last few years. I recently thought I was going to find myself a home, but those plans fell through so we'll see if I get them again.


#10
I have never had sex with anyone of the male species, as far as I know. I have had plenty of opportunities and did not take them, and will likely not be taking any any time soon. I do however think that I will try to make a baby the all natural way if I ever do decide to get pregnant.


#11
I feel as though I can safely say I've been truly in-love once in my twenty years. I fell very quickly for this person, I loved them with my entire heart, I know for certain that they will always be a part of who I am, especially because they have effected my manorisms and speech patters in their time in my life. I can honestly say that I don't feel like I made any mistakes with them, I look back and wish I would have done some things now but I think they'd have been great but were not things to regret not doing. I have loved many before that person, I will likely love many after that person, but no one will ever be that person and I am not yet sure if I will be truly in-love again after them, I can only hope.
(Side note: this is the only one that I put on a specific number for a specific reason.)


#12
No matter what my life turns out to be, I know for certain that I want it to be something worth someone remembering. I want to be in someone's heart when I pass away. I want people to remember me for something nice I said or did, something life changing that I was apart of, I just don't want to be gone forever when I die, I want to live on in someone's memory for just a little while longer than I live on in this world.


#13
I have this saying and I think it's true...I am the girl your parents didn't warn you about, but they should not feel bad for not warning you about me because I try to be someone they truly hoped you would meet. I want to be the person parents love that their child has.


#14
I have fallen out of touch with a lot of people in my life, my plans to go home for school I think will be good for getting myself reacquainted with these people, I have numbers and addresses and I really think I'll try to put them to good use and see these people because they have really made me the person I am, they were best friends, first crushes, the family that isn't really related but they are just or more important.

#15
I am terrified of the future, I think I've started to figure some things out, like where I want to go to grad school, a decision that was really needing to be come up with pretty quickly, but I don't really have my life figured past that. I know I want to go somewhere that isn't home and do something amazing for people, I really think I'm going to pursue the corrections end of social work, it just feels right and I think it might be fun to do that in a big city. I just don't know where to go, I fear change so often and hate being all alone in new places so I don't know what to do. I'd like to move really far away but I think I'd be afraid to never see anyone again, and I am most afraid that I'll wind up staying home for the rest of my life, I mean get a place of my own but never branch out and do the things I've put into my head that I need to do for me.


#16
I don't like new places, they terrify me, I don't like being alone in the world and I've always felt like a small not even blimp on the radar. I am good at going places when I have just one or two people I know I can fall back on, sorta my fail safe so that I don't have to instantly start finding new people and figuring things out past just surviving. I am constantly told that I leave a great mark on all those who know me, or of me and in high school one of our star football players put me down as his senior crush, I didn't even know my name was known in those kinds of circles...


#17
I love quotes, I don't always remember them but I do love them. I could probably sit around and read them all day and not be bored. I get them sent to my phone and need to start putting them on my computer so that I can continue to receive text messages since they're clogging up my inbox far too much.


#18
I don't think I've really truly worked my ass off for anything in my life. This is not because I am lazy, I just haven't ever really wanted something outside of my ability to get with little or no work. My parents have always taken exceptionally good care of me and had the money to give me things like a college education, clothes on my back, food to eat, those wonderful things. I have never been one to be exceptionally materialistic, if I want it and I can't afford it I generally realize I don't really need it or I can have it later when I can afford it, I've saved a few times for stuff but I didn't have to bust my ass to get the savings together. I dunno maybe I need to expect more of and for myself but I just don't tend to see the point.


#19
I was one of those people who went to college knowing exactly what they wanted to do with their life, major already figured out and declared...and then I changed my mind. I don't know if I changed my mind because of the program here not being one that I was interested in being a part of or if it was truly about wanting to pursue something different than what I started with, I stayed fairly close to my original goals for a year and a half before I changed my mind. I know however now that regardless of what got me here I really think I'll be happy with what I am doing and would never have quite found my way to it in the original choice I came in with made up for myself. I have far more passion for this and will do a better job in the end I feel.


#20
I am a major flirt, I don't do it on purpose, I tend to not notice when I am doing it,and apparently even my shy tendencies come off as cute and flirty. More recently I've come to realize that I flirt in many ways common to boys and girls, and depending on whether or not I really like someone changes which I end up doing more...


#21
I define myself as monotheistic, this scares my father for reason I don't understand. This for me atleast simply means, I believe there is one higher being, for simplicity sake I tend to call this being God. I believe that this being has a hand in all that has and will happen in the life of everyone and everything everywhere. I am completely open to hearing what others thoughts are, but I hate when I am made to feel stupid because I can't quote you back the bible or tell you somewhere to find exactly why I have the feelings I do about things...my feelings about religion and my own religion have come from my own experiences, my own interactions and reactions to "my God", I have always had this understanding of God being like a best friend, someone who you can tell anything and everything and while it is said that they already know it all, I still stand by the idea of free-will so God does nothing about it until I have asked for something to be done, at least in matters that need be my choice.


#22
I do not know much of my life but two things I have always know is that I want to have a home of my own, with or without a spouse, though I'd love to have someone by my side through this crazy game of life. Also, I want to have children, adopted, birthed, fostered...however it works I want them and I want to make a very good impact on their lives.


#23
I read through other peoples lists of twenty five as I was writing mine to come up with ideas for what to write about myself because I don't tend to think about who I am and what that means very often so I hit a wall on coming up with my own ideas of what might be good to know about me.


#24
I constantly underestimate myself and get yelled at about it. I just don't think I am all that special and the things that people see about me to be special I feel like are things that everyone should have or do. Why is is soo great to get good grades, be kind to others, care about people who may or may not care about you, see someone having a hard time or bad day and actually want to do something to make their life better even if its just for a second to stop and make them smile...I dunno I guess I'm different than most in these regards.


#25
I rely on people far more than I should sometimes and I think that's a reason why they love me. As bad as it is I don't think I'll ever change that about myself, I am learning to be more independent and self reliant I just don't want to ever become completely capable of taking care of myself entirely without anyone else. I want to grow up to have a rock...I don't care what anyone else thinks of it, I want to have someone who keeps me rooted where I am and takes care of me whenever I need it, whether I want it or not.


( This is sorta like an extra one...this took me far longer than I expected it to, I put myself under the microscope and really thought about these so I really hope that you have read all of these and enjoyed them because I put myself on the line and really forced myself to think a lot while writing this.)