sometimes the words I use to express my journey need some decoding, while this blog likely wont decode me completely...I intend to have it scratch the surface atleast. there are simply points in my life I find hard to say, something about loving, trusting, depending on and/or relying on people makes me an eirie kind of weak in the knees and sick in the pit of my stomach.
welcome to the rantings of a jaded soul far too early in life.

Thursday, November 25, 2010

Screaming Infidelities

Screaming...loudness I'm refusing to hold back any longer
Infidelities...a lack of christian faith...a breach of trust or a disloyal act, a transgression.
 
Why am I left to feel myself in this horrible place of only being only describable with those two words?  

How did I get myself to here? Why do I stay here? 
How do I let myself be that person? Why do I continue down the path that gets me here? 
How do I let myself stay with someone who makes it true? Why do I let you put me in this place?
How do I end up in this? Why do I stay? 
How do I say I have to leave it? Why don't we both adapt to not need this?
How do I not hurt anyone in my departure? Why does anyone have to be hurt? Why do I have to depart? 

I can't answer, wont answer, must answer, mighty break...who's to blame?!
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1 comment:

  1. AnonymousNovember 28, 2010 at 8:29 AM

    ditto. I am looking for Michigan turn. I think there has to be a way back. to get it back to good.

    ReplyDelete

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