cruelty

My head and heart are so cruel to me! Well not really my heart, more my stomache, I mean maybe my heart has some play in it. I dunno, whatever organs of mine are in on the scheme matters not because its happening despite which ones they are.

I spend two or three days being irritable about how to move forward, why am I initiating conversation all the time, why did I go a whole day with not response, why do I randomly not get responses when I feel like they should have come already. Feeling like I said something stupid and freaking out that I might be done talking forever, going nuts over every little thing.

Today, I pick the lets see if you contact me game, you do, I even get you to come out and do stuff with me and D. Ok so now you want me to go do something entirely foolish and instead of feeling the need to play the hard to get card some more like hte you contact me game was intended, I'm actually planning to do it.

Why I am letting one person throw me through a gammet of reactions within several days, even hours, I don't get it. Grrrrrrrrrr I hope this doesn't bite me in the ass, I've had enough of that for a bit!