A Friend From the Past--someone you lost in any way

There are these inspirations,
they say you pick who stays and goes,
but I never would have let you go.
I barely got to knowing you,
I remember little moments,
weekends together and fast one's I tried to pull.
They say not many knew the things I learned,
it all just seemed so natural to have caught you that one time,
you know what I'm talking about,
it took years for me to tell anyone what I saw that day.
but once I finally caught the nerve to share what had happened,
that's when I finally realized why you reacted in the way you did,
you were gonna beat my butt so bad...
I just thought you were crazy.
I always thought you were a little off your rocker,
but I figured that was a southern grandmothers thing,
hell years later I met me another one,
she brought back some of the funniest memories.
When I lost her it was a little like losing you again too.
I have so few memories of you,
just wasn't old enough to hold onto everything,
I remember bits and pieces,
at the strangest of times.
Something happens and I'm drawn back,
bits and pieces but never wholes,
just bits and pieces,
until slowly if I'm lucky I'll put together most of a story.
I've just got these little things.
My obsession with juicy fruit.
My longing for welfare cheese,
it really does make the best grilled cheese ever!
Oh and don't forget Vernor's Colada,
drinking those puts me at ease,
and can right so many things.
If it was my choice I'd crash into those memories,
I'd run headlong into anything there was to collect of what we did,
drive myself carelessly into that like kids on dodgems.
I wish at six I would have known how much I had lost,
known better how to hold onto you and our memories,
I was only six when you became my last grandmother.
At that age if I had known what I know now,
I never would have complained about a single day,
I would have spent more time with you,
asked you to tell me more of your story.
Beyond what they told me about you I didn't,
I don't know much.
I know you're from the south and you grew up on a farm,
at least that's why you said you refused to drink milk...
all the drinking straight from the cow made you full of milk,
you didn't need any more after all of those years.
I just knew I loved you and repeated the things I heard said.
You never seemed to hold any of the stuff I repeated against me.
Only ever telling me to knock it off when I was being too crazy,
like trying to eat your whole brick of cheese in a day...
I think that thing was my weight in cheese.
If I had known then that Vernor's Coladas would be a pick-me-up,
I wouldn't have thought my parents were crazy for buying the stuff every time I came over.
Regardless of their intentions they gave me something to hold onto you with and I'm thankful.
While I'm talking of the things that keep me thinking of you in the happiest of ways,
we've got this obsession with juicy fruit,
I know it has to do with you,
in the way that winterfresh is about Grama...
but you see I remember why I attach that to her but I don't really know why juicy fruit is you...
I imagine you must have chewed it...
trying to think back to our time together in your apartment,
I'm drawing nothing but blanks.
I can nearly recall every rug burn I got from that hallway running for your door,
sitting here now I can picture taking a walk down that hall.
Back in those days I would have sworn you were clairvoyant,
the way I wouldn't say anything but you'd still look over and tell me off.
You were just trying to tame me,
that's about the only way you at your age and with all of your medical crap,
was going to keep up and put up with me at such a young and wild-child age.
There is no way your agility was anywhere near that of me,
I was young and a crazy little dancer,
who could get away with just about anything,
mostly because I could get away from nearly anyone.
If only holding onto everything would have been easier,
your value in my life hadn't been so obscure to me back then.